Vulnerability (Learning Out Loud)

There’s something really interesting about starting a blog based mostly in spirituality. I’m generally a very open person who likes to get to the core of things, to really delve into it all and create a deep feedback-loop with the people around me. It’s strange though, doing it on public display, and opening up so much about my own personal weltanschauung and spiritual practices. It's weird sharing something this personal and revealing, especially when I know the eyes of friends, both new and old, and the eyes of family, whose connection is so deeply rooted, will be reading this. Also, I’m young on the path and don’t really know half of what these many great spiritual teaches know, and surely cannot write half as well as the great writers.

To open up, makes me feel vulnerable, like my mind and heart are standing naked before all of you. I’ve posted something, and then gone back hours later to re-edit small nuances out of nitpicky fear and doubt, or even taken down and held back entire posts. It’s easy to feel scared, to feel like a fraud. I’m noticing this feeling, and I’m watching this feeling, sometimes acting out of it like in those instances, but I’m trying to work past the ego-based fear to find the connection, and stay true to the heart of reason I’m doing this.

I live in a strange crossroads of passions, practices, and lifestyles, like bhakti yoga, nature, live music, festivals, and Buddhism. What I’m putting out here is not a teaching. It’s not to be taken as a dogma or anything substantial, or really even taken seriously at all. I know nothing. I know nothing but what I am learning. This is a blog about a student of the universe who is learning each and every day. I’m not here to teach. I can’t teach anything. I’m here to learn. It’s just that I’m learning out loud.